The Beatles versus Elvis. Jedi or Sith. Boxers or briefs. Marmite or not Marmite. Sometimes your only choice is to choose. And in just over a month, Londoners will be divided by the biggest showdown of all: Boris or Ken.

But on May 1 as Londoners trickle down to polling booths across the capital to elect a new mayor, the electorate will also choose the assembly members that are supposed to represent local interests and hold the new mayor into account.

While picking the head honcho can be managed easily enough: sense of humour? Vote Boris. Can’t stand the Evening Standard? Vote Ken. And if you fancy a toke of the wacky baccy and want to get away with it - it’s probably best to go with Brian.

But picking your assembly member is slightly harder.

Having spent the last few days chatting to a few of the candidates for Enfield and Haringey I couldn’t tell, particuarly with the Big Three, where one well-meant pledge started and another ended.

It seems that when it comes to winning votes it boils down to simple mathematics: exploit the lowest common denominator, the topics du jour, and follow this equation: crime + transport + climate change = ballots.

For bonus points mention your disgust at the post office closures.

We all know that variety is the spice of the life so it's no surprise that it's only the outsiders, who have no real chance of ever being successful, that say anything of interest and, this year, even they were boring.

The UKIP candidate moaned about the the fact that they don't get decent media coverage - but refused to say why they thought some of their policies might be unpopular. The Green candidate, although a rather nice chap, was quick to stress that, despite the name, they are not just a single-issue party. The Christian Party want to create more jobs not more converts. It's all so...safe.

I guess the general feeling is he who dares, doesn't win. And, sadly, that's what we call democracy.

You've got a vote - don't be afraid to use it.